Hello from the winterscape in East Otis!
Okay, not really, but, Brrrrrrrr anyway!
Did you know that October is Emotional Wellness Month? Who knew there was a whole month dedicated to our emotional health? I’m very happy that there is, though. Many of us still have old programming from childhood that holds us back from enjoying our lives as much as we could.
Let’s take a look at confidence. Why is it that so many intelligent, wise, talented, beautiful women have very little confidence in themselves? What makes us afraid to be ourselves, sometimes?
I see this almost every day – or maybe it’s that I’m noticing it more now. Women bicyclists who are concerned that they’ll get left behind in the group ride, when in fact, they are strong enough to zip past the other riders halfway through the ride. Women who are extremely competent, well trained sea captains but are worried they’ll make a mistake when they are in charge on a sea journey. Women who are strong enough to do advanced Yoga poses, but hesitate or use modifications because they don’t think they can do them…
Perhaps it’s the way we were brought up. Many of us are from a generation where we were mocked by classmates for believing in ourselves, told by teachers and family that we were conceited if we loved ourselves, or kept from pursuing our dreams because we “needed to be able to make money and support ourselves.”
I know I’m from that generation. And it has taken me a long time to gain back the confidence that I was born with, that we were all born with.
What can we do to find that confidence again after so many years of old limiting beliefs? Yes, I know the term limiting beliefs is a cliché these days, but let’s take a closer look at those two words for a moment. Limiting. Beliefs. We believe something that holds us back from realizing our best life possibilities. Not a good way to enjoy the second half of our lives… So, let’s STOP that, now!
Here are a few suggestions:
One good process to begin right away, is to make a list of upcoming adventures or goals that you want to accomplish, and spend a moment just thinking about each one. What is your gut reaction? Do you feel happy, scared, confident?
If you don’t like your first reaction, write down a possible different reaction, perhaps a mantra that you can use to replace the old thought with a new one. For instance, instead of worrying that you’ll get left behind and end up riding your bike alone on these country roads, you can say to yourself “I’m going to zip past those guys again halfway through the ride” and smile.
Another good process for re-wiring your brain, is this visual. STOP! Talk to the hand! – Especially from “Arnold!”
When you find yourself starting to doubt, or hear that nagging voice in your head repeating some limiting thought, raise your hand in the highly recognized STOP signal. This gives you a moment to smile, breathe, and realize that you are capable and you can do this!
These are simple ideas, but powerful. The more you use them, the more you’ll be able to change the wiring in your brain so that these new ideas and statements are what comes to mind first instead of the worry or fear. Doing something for 30 days can make it a habit. Try one of the above ideas for the next month and see how much better you feel about yourself!
Sharing a bit of the paradise that I live in!
Best of Health,